Paul, Matt and Stacey,
roommates in need of a new
living room sofa.

One day, Matt spies a
perfectly good-looking couch
curbside for pickup.

Excitedly, he
tells the roomies, who are all
about saving cash.

Only one problem.
They are too embarrassed to
take in broad daylight.

They plan a stealth “heist”
as closet trash diggers so
neighbors won’t judge them.

Garbage pickup is
in the morning. The heist is
on at midnight sharp.

Paul is sitting on
old couch, drinking a beer and
wearing orange skull cap.

“Do we need supplies?”
Paul asks. Matt and Stacey shrug.
Paul takes beer to go.

Matt, the marathon
runner, brings Band-Aids. Protects
sensitive nipples.

Deodorant is
stashed in Stacey’s bra for the
heavy haul back home.

They go to the spot.
Couch is still there. On count of
3, they pick it up.

Then, chaos ensues.
Stacey’s bra snaps as she lifts.
She screams. They drop couch.

On Matt’s foot. He screams.
Lights go on inside the house.
Face peers out window.

Afraid of being
identified, they panic.
And prepare to run.

Stacey rips off torn
bra as deodorant drops.
Matt applies Band-Aids.

As Paul bends down to
pick up deodorant, skull
cap falls and beer spills.

Evidence abound.
Couch still sitting curbside. They
run away. Heist fail.