Bernice, a seasoned
time-traveling maid, mistypes
critical number.
On the instrument
panel of her chrome and beige
time travel vacuum.
And ends up at the
vacuum store the year of the
illegal spice ring.
She lands on the curb
outside of Larry’s, I mean
Nicks, vacuum storefront.
Having an acute
sense of smell, she picks up on
the saffron spice scents.
Nick was plugging a
load at the employee back
entrance. Went inside.
Curious, Bernice
inspects the spice “mules.” Gathers
courage, goes inside.
All the while, humming
“Mellow Yellow” (quite rightly)
and sniffing saffron.
Paranoid, Nick hears
something in the back room. Gun
drawn, opens the door.
Only to see that
Bernice has organized and
cleaned the whole back room!
The saffron? Neatly
organized into bricks, shaped
for the vacuum mules.
This is how Bernice
got swept up (pun intended)
in the saffron ring.
____________________________
An antique dealer,
Ned, with chip on his shoulder
has been trying hard.
To make it big on
“Antique Roadshow.” Catches sight
of Bernice’s piece.
Her time travel vac.
It’s clearly a treasure. He
offers her a price.
She turns him down (it’s
her transportation!) Not for
sale. Now or ever.
Like a psycho ex-
boyfriend, Ned obsessively
stalks her. And finds out.
About the saffron
ring. Bernice is busted by
the Feds and locked up.
Bernice reads “Orange
is the New Black” until Nick
secures a bail bond.
Then, she time travels
to Roaring ‘20s to get
her flapper girl on.
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