Ringtone. “What up girl!”
“Jill, I’m 2 days late.” “Are you
still on the pill?” “Yes.”

“Then it’s fine. Relax.”
“I can’t relax. I can’t sleep.
I have to know now.”

“How?” “Walgreens.” “Let’s go.”
Aisle 5. First Response. Clear Blue
Easy. EPT.

“Walgreens brand. It’s the
cheapest and my favorite
color is purple.”

“And it’s 99
percent accurate! Good odds.”
Check out. Get in car.

Windows down. Taylor
Swift on the radio. But
then the urge strikes. Hard.

“Pull over, Jill I
have to pee.” “No. We are five
minutes away. Wait.”

“I can’t wait.” “But if
you go now you will have to
wait to take the test.”

“Too impatient. I
have to know now.” “So, what then?”
“Pull over right here.”

“We are on side street.”
“Who cares?” Pulls over. Rips box
open right on street.

Throws box. Litterbug.
Squats ass to grass. Pees on stick.
All on the sidewalk.

Gets in car. Waits 2
minutes. Nothing to do but
wait. And sing Taylor.

*Cause baby now we’ve
got bad blood. You know it used
to be mad love. So

take a look at what
you’ve done. Cause baby now we’ve
got bad blood. Hey!* (End)

2 minutes is up.
Minus sign. “What does that mean?”
Opens instructions.

“You are not pregnant.”
Celebratory cheers. Then
off to get froyo.