Esther and Doris,
endlessly competitive
with one another.

It all started in
grammar school during the Great
Depression era.

They vied for hopscotch
and jump rope. First place always
revolved between them.

Rivalry progressed
to high school with tennis, grades
and, of course, the boys.

As adults, the clash
was intensified by cars
and manicured lawns.

As fate would have it,
they are now both at the same
senior living home.

Both of their husbands
passed from heart attacks. They feud
which death was the worst.

And bicker over
games, food and pretty much all
daily happenings.

But competition
is fiercer than ever now
that Eugene is here.

The new, handsome (and
widowed!) resident. He has
eyes for both ladies.

He observes them at
shuffleboard night. Doris has
arthritis flare-up.

Esther easily
outplays her. Eugene’s seduced.
Not so fast, Eugene.

Next up is Wheel of
Fortune. They shuffle to the
TV room to view.

Esther snags the last
Werther’s from the candy dish.
Doris wanted it!

So Doris yells loud
and proud all the letters and
completes the phrases.

She’s accurate and
swift. Try as she might, Esther
isn’t fast enough.

Plus, the Werther’s in
her mouth is affecting her
normal response time.

Eugene is now turned
on by Doris. Esther sees
this and interferes.

To solve this once and
for all, she challenges her
dear archnemesis.

A footrace in the
courtyard. Doris is pooped but
too proud to show it.

She accepts. Esther
could use another nap too
but this is her chance.

They line up. Gun fires.
Chariots of Fire theme blares
(from where I don’t know).

They move as fast as
they can for elder ladies
with walkers (not fast).

A few elbows are
thrown. A few rest stops taken.
Eugene watches on.

There isn’t a clear
winner because they tire out
and stop. Time pauses.

Chariots of Fire
theme abruptly stops like a
scratched record sound bite.

“That tuckered me out!”
Esther proclaims. “What was that
all about, Doris?”

Doris replies “I
don’t remember.” What they don’t
forget is Eugene.

He got bored watching
the race and went to take a
nap with Gloria.

Finally, they can
agree on one thing: disrupt
Gloria’s walker.