Ralph has a major
foot fetish and is on the
prowl for some fresh feet.

Usually he
prefers to surf the web for
piggies. But not now.

He is stepping out.
First stop- DSW.
Foot fetish heaven.

Except today. There
are a lot of shoppers but
they’re not trying on.

No taking off of
shoes. Nothing. Next up- Chinese

Lot of tired puppies
getting rubbed and massaged. But
only one problem.

The room is too dark
to see the feet. So he tries
to impersonate.

And pretend to be
foot reflexologist. No
go. He gets kicked out.

Where to find feet now?
It’s too cold for beach barefeet
feet treading the sand.

He passes by nail
salon. Bingo. Glorious
pedicures in there.

He enters, intent
on his mission, and swaggers
past receptionist.

He scans the room for
feet. Beautiful feet. But all
he sees is horror.

Kankles, swamp foot, corns,
bunions, hammer toes, blisters,
callouses, fungus!

A sore sight for eyes.
Escaping, his eyes spy ‘zine:
“Feet and Fabulous.”

Not one to pass up
a foot periodical,
He snags for later.

To the chagrin of
the salon employee who
chases him out door.

He runs like the wind.
Like he never has before.
He needs this foot fix.

But he can’t wait for
later. He seeks privacy
under a scaffold.

He rips open the
pages in high hopes of “Feet
and Fabulous” pics.

But all he sees is
articles on socialites
and hot social scenes.

Then, it hits him like
ton of bricks. The title is
“Fete and Fabulous.”

Nothing about feet
at all. He declares mission
a failure and weeps.

Just then, cute feet
adorned with flip flops pass by.
Foot fix is fulfilled.