Mr. Clarke (spelled the
British way) was public school’s
best shop class teacher.

His aggressive style
instilled fear in student’s brains.
They obeyed his word.

It was for their own
good. Obedience went hand
in hand with safety.

In 21 years,
there was only one blood-based
safety incident.

Then came the new tech
revolution. The schools changed
their curriculum.

Antiquated shop
class was cut in favor of
app development.

Mr. Clark prevailed
from his obsolete job and
landed a new gig.

Furniture maker.
Custom made shit. Sales soared and
major coin was made.

With the extra cash,
he treated himself to a
pair of Aldo shoes.

But before he could
show them off, a new kid came
to the block. A Swede.

IKEA. Despite
his delight at cheap meatballs,
he hated the store.

What kind of person
wants to purchase DIY,
cheap particle board?

For their home décor?
The horror! But people loved
the experience.

And for the second
time, Mr. Clarke is robbed of
his occupation.

Ashamed, he puts on
his Aldo shoes and grabs his
Milwaukee toolbox.

He somberly strolls
to the canal. Today, he
is ending it all.

And taking his two
prized assets: heavy duty
band saw, Aldo shoes.

A single tear rolls
down his cheek. He preps to jump.
*HONK HONK HONK* Horn blares.

A Ford truck rolls up,
bass pumping. Tinted window
glides down. Tim appears.

Wearing a cowboy
hat, Tim speaks in a Southern
drawl. “How much is it?”

Mr. Clarke wipes his
tears. “What?” “How much for the band
saw?” “500 cash.”

It just came out of
his mouth. He wanted to go
down with it, but hey.

Tim hands him a stack
of cash and speeds off with the
saw. The canal lures.

But Mr. Clarke is
now distracted. How much are
his other tools worth?

He enlists the help
of his millennial next-
door neighbor, Tyler.

Tyler explains how
to use eBay and Mr.
Clarke sells all his tools.

Like, the whole shop class
supply that they gave to him
as a severance.

Financially free,
he no longer needs to work.
But he wants a job.

He applies for head
meatball chef at IKEA