Todd, the accountant,
arrives at dry cleaners to
pick up his dress shirts.
Standing outside, is
a beautiful woman. She’s
smoking, but sexy.
Normally repulsed
by cigarettes, he’s very
enchanted by her.
She seductively
drags on the cigarette. Red
lipstick stains filter.
In her free hand, she’s
holding a ushanka, with
a dry cleaning tag.
Todd loves ushankas.
They are the most practical
winter hat ever.
Normally, shy with
women, he excitedly
strikes up a convo.
He drones on about
ushanka history and
style. He asks her name.
Natalya is from
Russia. And she loves nerds. Todd
has hit the lotto.
She likes to cook. She
invites him to dinner at
her place tomorrow.
Like a true dork, he
maniacally Googles
everything Russian.
He needs to be well
versed in order to further
impress Natalya.
Russian Mafia
is alerted by Todd’s swift
Russian Googling.
They are suspicious.
They deploy secret agent
to Todd’s neighborhood.
Boris trails Todd all
day. The mafia quickly
learns Todd is harmless.
But they get intel
that he is planning to buy
Ketel One vodka.
The Holland brand. And
only 2 roses. Russians
are superstitious.
Even number of
flowers are for mourning. Odd-
for celebrating!
Boris kidnaps Todd
and dumps the Holland hooch and
unlucky roses.
He equips him with
Jewel of Russia vodka and
3 long stem roses.
Boris drops Todd off
at Natalya’s, where she is
cooking while smoking.
It’s totally a
turn off, but she’s hot so he
pretends to not see.
As he turns a blind
eye, a white cat appears from
behind the sofa.
A firm cat hater,
this a deal breaker. Todd
escapes, ghosting her.
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