Janet’s birthday is
next week. Her husband, Dale, is
stumped on what to gift.

for him, he overhears her
phone chatting with friend.

“I wish Dale would buy
me gifts like when we were young
and falling in love.

You know, like a cute
teddy or something.” Dale’s mind
flashes to high school.

He bought Janet a
teddy bear for Valentine’s
Day. Her heart melted.

Dales thinks it’s childish
she wants this gift again but
dutifully complies.

He carefully scans
the stuffed animal aisle for
the perfect teddy.

It takes some time but
he selects the perfect bear.
At least he thinks so.

Checkout clerk calls it
abominable snowman
gorilla monkey.

“Oh what a cute dog
toy!” comments Lyft driver. “My
Lab would love that thing.”

As he exits the
Lyft, a passing by child is
startled by the “bear.”

She begins to cry
berserkly. Time to re-think
teddy strategy.

Mission aborted.
Feeling frisky, his mind is
soon in the gutter.

(And now so is the
teddy bear.) Maybe she would
like something sexy.

Massage? Bath filled with
rose petals? Victoria
Secret lingerie!

The Vicky S sales
women fawn all over him.
Love to make men squirm.

Squirm he does and so
does his wallet. But now he
is equipped with gift.

“Happy birthday to
you!” The candles are blown out.
Cupcakes are eaten.

Gifts are opened. She
blushes at sight of pink box
and panties inside.

Panties really aren’t
her thing. She hopes for more. He
doesn’t disappoint.

Her heart just swoons when
she opens oil painting of
Teddy Roosevelt.