Jane, a blogger on
the frugality lifestyle,
publishes new post.

On how to make your
leftovers last at least ten
whole days in a row!

Powers off laptop
and heads out for a workout.
Not at the gym though.

She’s too cheap, I mean
frugal, for a membership
or workout sneakers.

So, she parkours in
the park across the street, sans
protection for feet.

Her skill level is
basic, but she has drive. This
workout must be free!

Her amateur moves
cause bystanders to cringe, but
“It’s no cost!” Jane yells.

Her grand finale
stretch brings a jungle gym and
mature Douglas Fir.

Not the tree. There is
an old man named Douglas Fir
sitting on a bench.

But Jane never has
to wonder how she is to
bound over Douglas.

Because as she jumps
off jungle gym, her bare feet
are shock absorption.

A metatarsal
snaps and Jane limps back home to
telephone doctor.

Just kidding! She is
too cheap for health insurance,
let alone Doc bill.

She barters with her
neighbor, AJ, who broke his
ankle bone last year.

She gives him ten days
worth of leftovers, exchanged
for pair of crutches.

This penny-pinching
plan goes well until Jane gets
hungry. Then, hangry.

She has a backup
supply of leftovers that
will last ten whole days.

Days one through five go
really well. She’s saving cash!
Pats herself on back.

Then, she can’t take it
anymore. She is sick and
tired of the same food.

Every. Single. Day.
Jane decides she deserves a
new meal. McDonald’s.

It’s kinda out of
her budget, especially
because of new rule.

Condiment surcharge.
But, luckily, she hoarded
many of her own.

So, she brings her own
ketchup. Too cheap for a purse,
she stuffs in pockets.

As she hobbles her
way to McDonald’s, something
fascinates her eyes.

A woman getting
out of a car with stunning,
black, Chanel handbag.

Black, quilted, lambskin,
smooth as butter. Gold logo
for an added flair!

Jane looks down at her
ketchup packet stuffed pockets
and red, swollen foot.

Her stomach rumbles
from hunger but aches from the
drawn-out leftovers.

Envy for Chanel
handbag consumes entire soul.
She has had enough!

Jane is done with the
frugal lifestyle. She visits
a doctor. X-Ray!

Walking boot! Then, she
buys a Chanel handbag AND
ketchup in bottle.

Most importantly,
she starts a blog on her new,
fancier lifestyle.

Next post: “How to Look
Posh While Not Giving a F@*k
about IRA.