Pam and Judy (sans
big booty) are rival moms.
Not just any kind.

Rival soccer moms.
It started outside the field-
rival baking blogs.

Then, it escalates
to PTA president
election. Pam wins.

Judy seeks revenge
by having her tech geek son
employ hacking skills.

He hacks programing
in Pam’s mini-van’s TV.
Now, forced to converse.

Pam can’t handle the
family interaction.
Both moms displace craze.

On the soccer field.
Driving son’s opposing teams
to win at all costs.

Zeke, the ref, has a
fetish for aggressive and
married soccer moms.

(Hence, the side gig. Plus,
his full-time gym teacher job
doesn’t pay the bills.)

Single, he has been
off his game for quite a while.
He needs assistance.

Google explains that
peanuts improve sexual
function. Oh hell yes.

many of the players have
peanut allergies.

He stashes them near
the field under a squirrel
infested oak tree.

Gnawing with fury
the squirrels can’t break into
Zeke’s glass peanut jar.

The soccer game ends
and Zeke has another kind
of action in mind.

With one twist of the
lid, the squirrels swarm. Peanut
holder is pillaged.

Spectators film scene
for social media. But
Dora rescues him.

Not an explorer,
she is a biologist.
Wrangles the squirrels.

She’s definitely
not a married, soccer mom.
And she’s way too sane.

But Zeke had a few
nuts after the attack and
they are kicking in.

He asks her out. His
breath reeks of peanuts. Dora
inhales, nose absorbs.

“How sexy,” Dora
thinks. “Peanuts are my second
favorite legume!”

Nevertheless, she
settles for Zeke as tonight’s
sub-par, one-night stand.