(Will Candice ever
stop eating grapefruits? Keep on
reading from Part 1!)

Candice is eating
grapefruits like crazy for her
new crash diet plan.

She also starts an
exercise regimen to
torch the calories.

She starts by walking
neighbor Eve’s dog, Beau, who has
unhealthy terror.

Due to a tragic
mishap on St. Patrick’s Day
last year, he hates green.

She gives up walking
him because he mangles all
things of green color.

(Eve tells a tale of
how he just mauled a plastic
green chair at the beach.)

Next she tries Parkour.
She meets Eric who is still
rejoicing first jump.

He leaped over a
plastic green chair at the beach.
He can’t stop bragging.

After he tells the
boring story AGAIN, she
is driven to drink.

At the bar, sipping
grapefruit juice and vodka, she
meets guy named Ronny.

He claims to have a
lot of money, yet he pays
for their drinks in coins.

She calls him out on
his wealth and he admits to
beachcombing for junk.

Metal detector
has only found green one time-
a green plastic chair.

Light-headed due to
eating only grapefruit all
week, she is still smart.

She leaves broke Ronny
at the bar and drives home as
she connects the dots.

She realizes
that the quality of the
chair was compromised.

The same chair that she
sat on and broke. Not because
of her extra weight.

She violently
lobs last grapefruit out window.
It hits a parked car.