Marge won a safety
award in high school shop class.
It went to her head.
Now, she is obsessed
with all things safety. Daily
precautions are norm.
A day in the life
of Marge includes helmet and
wrist guards. “Just in case.”
As a result, she
earns Safety Engineering
degree in college.
Marge’s dream job is
with Mother Safety herself-
OSHA. She applies.
But she has shady
past. They did a background check,
revealing the dark.
When Marge was 16,
she was cited for lack of
hairnet compliance.
At the graveyard shift
at White Castle line cook job
(before shop award).
She doesn’t get the
OSHA job. Nose to the grind,
job search continues.
During this time, she
develops an addiction
to daytime TV.
Especially Judge
Judy. Now her job search is
centered on one thing.
Not interfering
with the Judge’s noon timeslot.
What’s a girl to do?
Observant, she spies
neighborhood kids that are picked
up by a school bus.
Promptly at 7
in the morning. Then, dropped back
off at 3:30.
Score! She applies for
a bus driver job. Sadly,
no help is needed.
For school buses, that
is. They do need a driver
for another bus.
The correctional
community service rounds
bus with the inmates.
She’s hired! Once on the
road, Marge is horrified by
the lack of safety.
Determined to get
back in good grace with OSHA,
she makes some changes.
Huge fan of written
heeds of caution, implements
‘Watch Your Step’ signage.
Stairs are difficult
with those shackles. Inmates don’t
seem to give a f*@k.
Next up, PPE.
Her personal protective
equipment choice? Vest.
Reflective, neon
yellow vest. All passengers
must sport this attire.
The inmates give a
few more f*@s because they are
already constrained.
Perpetually
confined, this causes a sense
of much less control.
But wait, there’s more. Why
don’t buses have seat belts? They
do now, thanks to Marge.
To the chagrin of
the inmates, she installs belts
on the entire bus.
Including her own
seat. So proud of her design,
she creates a plan.
After she drops off
the inmates, she plots to crash
OSHA convention.
She will show off the
seatbelts to restore tarnished
reputation! Smart?
Giddy off the joy
of her plan, she cranks up the
radio. Tunes blare.
As “Do wah diddy
diddy dum diddy do” plays,
Gary’s temper flares.
He has had enough.
Marge’s musical taste is
the last straw. It’s on.
Marge takes a vape break
before departing. Gary’s
shackled team unites.
Discreetly, the team
tampers with the driver’s seat
seat belt. Laughs erupt.
After the drop off,
she has the Safteymobile ®
all to her safe self.
As she pulls up to
the convention, she senses
she got the dates wrong.
Today is not the
OSHA convention but the
floral garden show.
No problem, she will
come back next weekend for the
OSHA convention.
Bladder bursting at
the seams, Marge needs to use the
restroom. But she’s stuck.
She can’t get out of
her seat. The official show
photog passes by.
“What a great add to
this year’s tropical flora
installation” *Snap*
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