Alex, an intern,
discovers keyboard shortcuts.
Control C and V.

Now he’s addicted
to shortcuts. He brushes up
on useful life hacks.

He takes prompt action
around the law firm office,
starting in break room.

Coffee is pricey.
He dilutes with water to
extend the supply.

Meeting room space is
limited. He cuts time for
meetings- 10 minutes.

is the janitor- they can
clean their own toilets!

As he pats himself
on the back, he envisions
praise for his shortcuts.

Firm’s partners are not
amused and fire Alex. To
reduce stress, he bikes.

Job hunting is gross.
He watches Netflix instead.
Epiphany strikes.

He doesn’t want to
be a lawyer. He wants a
Netflix-ish career.

Filmmaking! As part
of his time management life
hack, no time to waste.

He doesn’t have years
to go back to school so he
fast-track self-teaches.

No time to research
the best books, he relies on
Amazon ratings.

$30 Film
School has 4.4 stars- the
highest rating. Score!

But how is he to
market his film with no film
marketing knowledge?

Twitter. 200
80 characters or less,
baby. He’s got this.

But he doesn’t have
a Twitter account or know
how the platform works.

Add to Cart: Twitter
Marketing for Dummies. It’s
a bit outdated.

It was published 10
years ago, but it has 4
stars. Selects shipping.

Two day Prime. Regrets
not having a Kindle. Two
days later, mail comes.

He grabs a bag of
barbeque Lays, throws them in
his messenger bag.

With his new books. And
mounts his yellow bike in search
of place to study.

He takes his newfound
shortcut along the bike path
to the riverwalk.

Around the time the
Twitter marketing book was
published, Herman smiled.

Being homeless, he
enjoyed the simple life but
yearned for convenience.

One day, while digging
through the trash, he found a phone
cord. (Ah, landline days.)

He smiled. Now he can
order pizza instead of
digging for a slice.

He spent the next 10
years in search of discarded
landline telephone.

No phone to be found.
But he does end up with a
collection of cords.

But today is his
day. There is a rotary
phone in a trash can.

Next to an estate
sale. Esther’s mint green phone will
be perfect for calls.

One minor problem-
he needs telephone service.
But Herman is smart.

He builds a complex
infrastructure of phone cords
to pirate service.

From the Whole Foods next
door to his dome tent near the
riverwalk bike path.

He has waited 10
years for this moment. He picks
up corded handset.

There’s a dial tone!
Finger prepped to dial. *Whoosh*
Phone flies out of hand!

There lies Alex on
the bike path, tangled in a
mess of cords and books.

Herman feigns illness
when the ambulance arrives
for ride to ER.

Stealing attention
away from Alex’s head
trauma and road rash.

But it’s all worth it
to Herman. Being homeless,
he has street IQ.

Last time at ER,
he got free crackers and a
sponge bath from cute nurse.