Mike, college student,
finds a black dot on his face.
Consults WebMD.
Skin cancer! Mike sends
goodbye text to his parents.
Looks in the mirror.
He squeezes the dot
and it turns out to be a
blackhead, not cancer.
After calming down
the parents, this health scare gives
him new lease on life.
Health kick begins! Eats
healthy, joins gym, starts taking
shit load vitamins.
Probiotic, milk
thistle, horny goat weed, and
ginkgo biloba.
Even applies for
a job at gym in exchange
for free member dues.
He’s accepted! But
first, they require urine drug
test to seal the deal.
_______________________________________
Mike’s roommate, Jake, has
narcolepsy managed by
amphetamine pills.
While Jake is taking
his pill, he pilfers a tab
of horny goat weed.
As he grabs a glass
of water to wash down, he
knocks over bottles.
Accidentally
replaces amphetamine
in other bottle.
You know what happens
next, Mike takes wrong pill and has
extreme side effects.
He cleans their entire
apartment, power washes
outside of building.
After talking to
Jake, he realizes what
has happened. Panics.
Google search locates
someone selling clean urine.
He buys two orders.
First test is practice.
Mike buys at home drug test 6.
Can’t wait to get home.
Rips open package
and tests the pee in the street.
Passes! Dances jig.
Unfortunately,
he spills the other pee in
car on the way to Lab.
And must use his own.
Fails drug test but buys pack of
blackhead clearing strips.
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