James, a prolific
inventor has a huge crush
on Lori Greiner.

Being a loner
(and quite frankly, crazy) has
no social IQ.

That is why his scheme
to win her heart seems stable
in his foolish mind.

He plots to invent
a sponge that tops Scrub Daddy,
one of Lori’s deals.

He slaves away in
his lab (basement), building the
first two prototypes.

He is so intent
on the mission, he doesn’t
eat, sleep or shower.

For 3 days and nights.
But his project is complete.
Then, he passes out.

After a brief trip
to ER (dehydration),
He preps second phase.

To film video
submission for Shark Tank. Then,
the grand finale.

Hand delivery
of the finished video
to Lori’s front door.

Wearing nothing but
a banana hammock, he
sets up camera.

Action! He starts with
an awkward, nervous intro,
then starts the demo.

First, cleans bird poop off
the window of his car. Then,
the building windows.

Then, the building. He
only scales three floors though. Then,
the entire street.

Using both sponges,
he alternates hands, scrubbing
with total vigor.

Screaming, “Lori, who’s
your Scrub Daddy?” In the heat
of passion, he strips.

And takes a sponge bath
in the street. The water is
cool and refreshing.

But filthy with street
grime. Naked and blackened with
sludge, he presses STOP.

Only to notice
that he never pressed PLAY. The
sponges now ruined.

His sole prototypes.
Dejected, he turns on a
re-run of Shark Tank.

In that moment, he
realizes Barbara
is sexiest Shark.

And heads to the lab
(kitchen) to invent Pipsnack
knockoff nemesis.