As a child, Roger
was an enthusiastic
Looney Tunes viewer.

The Merry-Go-Round
Broke Down song, his Pavlov bell.
Conditioned to trance.

But this addiction
fueled his fear of injury
via piano.

He wasn’t afraid
of dying. Oh no, the worst
part was surviving.

And living with a
protruding bump on top of
his sensitive head.

And his teeth transformed
into the pearly white and
black piano keys.

Just how he witnessed
it happen to Sylvester
the Cat and Wylie.

Growing up, Roger
saw the trend expand to non-
animation film.

More damn pianos
raised on pulleys, carelessly
dropped on the sidewalk.

His piano fall
fears further increased nightmares,
anxiety, dread.

Lifelong viewing of
catastrophic piano
drops got him thinking.

Why do movers move
pianos outside but all
other things inside?

This is how Roger
became OSHA inspector
for moving truck crew.

Because his status
is an unpaid volunteer,
citations are spurned.

Movers are getting
sick of unsolicited
spying and nagging.

Roger, unhappy
because they haven’t moved a
single piano.

Then, Mrs. Burns needs
movers to gift piano
to her granddaughter.

The moving crew does
not disclose the freight list to
Roger. Other plans.

Granddaughter lives on
7th floor. Wouldn’t it be
fun to use pulley?

The crew lies about
schedule so Roger assumes
he has the day off.

He kicks off morning
listening to Fur Elise
and heads to Starbucks.

He continues the
Beethoven jam, unaware
of his surroundings.

Definitely not
aware of the piano
being raised ahead.

A mover sneezes
as they raise and piano
crashes four stories.

Narrowly missing
Roger, startling the sh*t out
of him. Turns around.

Sees piano. Checks
his head. No bump. Checks his teeth.
No keys. Fear is cured.