Twenty seventeen
cupcake bake off. Reigning champ-
Betty Shoemaker.
Confection queen five
years running. No one ever
comes close. Until now….
“Betty is going
down this year, Damien. I
mean literally.”
“I don’t get it, Gwen.”
“Do I have to spell it out?
You will take her down.
Remember Tonya
Harding?” “Club her knee? Savage!”
“No, not that extreme.
Sabotage. Ruin
her fancy schmancy cupcakes.
Here’s our strategy:
The bake off starts at
9am. She stops at the
McDonalds right there
*Points to corner* each
day at 8:30am
for Egg McMuffin.”
“How do you know for
sure?” “Told you, I planned this. I’m
not screwing around.
As she leaves, you strike.
Destroy the goods. Got it?” “What
does Betty look like?”
“She looks like a girl
carrying a shit load of
creative cupcakes.”
Bake off day arrives.
Betty oversleeps. No time
for Egg McMuffin.
Lo and behold, Joan,
hungover bake off entrant
craves McD’s breakfast.
Enters McDonalds
at 8:30am sharp.
Joan exits. *Swoosh* *Scream*
Aftermath: Sidewalk
decor. Betty’s ‘cakes are still
intact. Wins first prize.
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