Chelsea grew up in
an “everybody is a
winner” type household.

As an adult, she
is mostly wrong but buries
her head in the sand.

Plugs her ears and sings
la la la to anything
that contradicts her.

Her go-to choice of
attire is white wife beaters.
“Because they are cute.”

She thinks it’s cool to
screenprint t-shirts so she quits
her accounting job.

She sells her car to
buy a printing press and start
her own t-shirt shop.

Not having a firm
business plan, sales are not great.
Downtime is boring.

So Chelsea screen prints
her own wife beaters to the
tune of Spin Doctors.

Not a lyric thief,
she prints a paraphrase of
one of their hit songs.

Lack of business leaves
Chelsea broke and upset so
she applies for job.

She lands interview
with H&R Block. Frazzled,
she craves sugar snack.

She decides to stop
for comfort food beforehand-
strawberry ice cream.

But forgets Lactaid.
In between questions, the gas
escapes. Oh, the smell.

Upset about not
getting hired, she goes out with
the girls to get drunk.

She wears her newly
white with gold screen-printed wife
beater to the club.

And attracts a lot
of actual wife beaters.
They seem nice at first.

As they charm her with
their sociopath ways. But
then the rage begins.

Narrowly dodging
a fist, she escapes. But she
can’t escape one thing.

A huge hangover
the next morning. She decides
best cure is Big Mac.

Foregoing shower
or wardrobe change, she embarks,
her stomach rumbling.

Since McDonalds is
next to H&R Block, the
journey is risky.

As laughter erupts
as she walks in the door, she
sees the employees.

Who witnessed lactose
distress. In that moment, she
has epiphany.

And realizes,
that she is, in fact, not a
Mrs. Always Right.